Lately I’ve been meeting women who are in the most beautiful moment of their lives: full of health and confidence, they radiate the irresistible charm of real beauty, which arises from the acceptance of one’s own nature with all its complexity.
And yet many of them confess to me that they have become invisible. Suddenly gone are the constant scrutiny, on-the-go attention and unsolicited opinions about your looks. At first, it’s a disconcerting change, I think, because we didn’t have any other way to measure our physical attractiveness. But then comes a great relief: you no longer have to get rid of the bumblebees, your sexuality no longer interferes with work, social, intellectual environment, etc. Finally, your human condition is above your xx chromosomes. Tranquility comes from traveling through this world without constantly feeling pursued. What doesn’t take away an iota of sexism from the change: The fact that women over 40 are no longer perceived as attractive is because culture modulates men’s desires based on unequal relationships. The mass media systematically censor the portrayal of people who are considered old. If in films, series and TV shows the main protagonists are always (at most) in their thirties, how should that not affect reality? And it’s not worth citing examples like Jennifer López, who invests tons of money and time to show the age she’s long past, so we can later marvel at how well she’s doing.
The great paradox of this age-related misogyny is that women’s sexual glory arrives exactly at age 40, when we’ve shed our complexes, our fears, we’ve lived long enough to see the great deception spread by the body industry becomes: having that right to fuck, we have to prepare, wax, exfoliate, hydrate, file, paint, reduce, enlarge, tone, smooth and a long list of absurd requirements. All of this is consumption and an effective means of undermining the self-esteem necessary to offer ourselves to the other with joyful freedom. From that age you know what you want, what you like and don’t like and you ask for it without hesitation, you stop being ashamed of your needs because life doesn’t last forever and if there’s a sin, then just postpone it the pleasure and miss the beautiful gift of nature that is sex.
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