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Saturday, June 25, 2022

Sixteen years, eight signatures

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What happens during the course of a sixteen-year marriage?

© Kunal Mehra Photography

Did I ever tell you that the two-month gap year we took six years ago was the best time of my adult life?
That hurt me when you said that our month-long vacation last year, which I planned and paid for, was a complete waste of your time.

Wow. This desert is beyond amazing. Look at those stars! I want to hug you… you are my beloved star!
Why are my needs so often ignored? Is it too much to ask for a kiss? This? How about a hug?

Do you remember that night when we lay in the tent in the desert of De Na Zin and looked up at the Milky Way? I felt that we were so in tune with each other…as if our souls were making love and we didn’t need to utter any words or make any requests.
Why do I have to justify my core nature to you so many times? All these years and you still don’t know who I really am?

Do you remember when we met at that cafe downtown? You were wearing sandals and I saw the hair on your toes and for some irrational reason I felt connected to you. Isn’t that weird and funny?
I don’t feel connected to you. There is too much pain in our relationship for me to want to get close to you.

It was very nice of you to buy me those rabbit sculptures…they are so cute! I love them!
Why can’t we be nice to each other? Just for a long fucking weekend?

Come on… we can climb this mountain. I know it’s a bit beyond our limits, but we can do it!
You’re really pushing my limits… you know that, right?

Wasn’t it funny how you mistook me for another blonde, when we were on the beach in Hawaii in 2014?
I can’t even tell who you are anymore. Was she really the person I fell in love with?

Are you cold? Here, take my gloves.
I’d rather sleep outside in the cold than hug you.

Aren’t we lucky to have each other? What an amazing coincidence that I searched Craigslist for a word—meditation—and your dating post came up with that word, saying you wanted to learn how to meditate.
I’ve wasted sixteen years of my life being with you.

I’m tired of all this work today. Can we lay in bed together and watch a comedian?
I’m done with this. I am moving.

Don’t you like that beer? Well, try it…come on…we’re having so much fun!
Can’t we just give our marriage one more chance, please? Please?! We have much in common!

Should we have Mexican or Indian food for lunch tomorrow?
Can you make an appointment with the lawyer for tomorrow afternoon?

I love how interesting you are!
How much interest do I have to pay them if I can’t pay the settlement amount on time?

Remember that time I wore a swimsuit in Italy while taking a selfie on a boat, and you said it was one of the ten happiest memories of your life?
How much time do you need to get your stuff out of my house?

Holding hands while reciting vows.
Hands shaking when signing the divorce papers.

Sixteen years of being together.
Eight signatures on the divorce forms.

I missed being with you over the weekend… I wish we could have spent it together.
I will miss you.

You are lovely in many ways.
You were charming in many ways.


Previously published on Medium.com

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