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The insecurity before the first kiss, the excitement before the first contact, the shared moments of tenderness, the shared desire, all emotions that usually accompany intimate moments. He is also accompanied by González and the wheelchair user Betsy, protagonists of an erotic story, who have sex for the first time after meeting: “I went into the bedroom and sat on the bed. I waited anxiously and nervously. What will happen? What will she like? she says: “I didn’t realize that she had already climbed on the bed and was lying on top of me. She started kissing me all over my body.”
Triana Serfaty and Enrique Plantey shared this and other stories on their Instagram channel @Sexistimos. The Spanish nurse and the Argentine Paralympic skier, who carried the Argentine flag to the national stadium at the opening of the Paralympic Games in Beijing, have been a couple for ten years – and it is no coincidence that they write about a protagonist in a wheelchair. Plantey has also been a paraplegic since he was ten years old. When the two first met in a nightclub in Buenos Aires, they immediately felt the attraction, they talked, they laughed. Enrique was the first young man in a wheelchair who met Triana, who was then 18 years old. “And I fell so in love with him,” she says today: “Everything he did seemed great to me.”
Friends ask: “Can you sleep together?”
Plantey’s spinal cord injury was never a major hurdle between the two. In other people’s minds it is. There were girlfriends, strangers in the nightclub, asking the couple: “Can you sleep together?” Yes of course they can! She still remembers her first time with Enrique very well. “There was so much sexual tension in the air, so much nervousness, so much lust,” says Serfaty. “So we were both focused on giving each other pleasure, he on me and I on him, and we forgot to enjoy ourselves. Today they have become much more technical and egalitarian in sex, they know better how to please themselves.” But it was hard to find information on how to improve your sex life as a disabled couple.
This missing -or incorrect- information on the subject of sex with disabilities has accompanied Enrique Plantey for more than twenty years: at the age of 11, a doctor told him that his sexual life would be restricted forever, he says. Plantey didn’t make much of the doctor’s comment. Instead, he tried it himself, learning that he may very well have sex. Perhaps it was so easy for him back then because those around him never gave much importance to his disability: “His family and friends always accepted him as he is, he was happy with himself, he always accepted himself. . He would have been surprised if someone didn’t do the same,” his girlfriend told the Paralympics newspaper in an interview. It is the lack of knowledge about the sexuality of people with disabilities that has accompanied them throughout their relationship – and now it has motivated them to Talk about your own privacy.
In the book they explain about the para-orgasm
During the Corona lockdown, the idea came up to write a book about the intimacy of disabled couples. Triana Serfaty and Enrique Plantey, together with the sexologist Bárbara García, talk about their own sexual life and that of other couples. “It’s not easy for me to share these private experiences with the public,” says Serfaty. But she stresses: “It’s time we spoke louder about sexuality and disability.” They have been sharing similar content on their Instagram channel for a long time and offer advice there as well. During these consultations, for example, they would answer questions or doubts from people with disabilities and share their knowledge.
In the book, which will be published soon, they explain, for example, the paraorgasm, an orgasm that is not achieved through genital stimulation but through the stimulation of other erogenous zones. The topics they address are not only interesting for couples with disabilities. “Topics such as para-orgasm or tantric sex can improve the sexual life of all couples,” says Triana Serfaty. After all, couples without disabilities can also use these techniques and thus improve their sexual life.
The couple has been together for ten years and Serfaty has been accompanying her boyfriend to his training sessions and competitions for eight. “It wasn’t always easy,” she says Serfaty, “I always accompanied him, without limits, sometimes I had to stand almost invisible next to her.”Paralympic Games, in Sochi and Pyeongchang, were together. He is also a member of the Argentine team in China. “We drive together, but we are very professional during matches so that Enrique can concentrate,” says Serfaty.
In the Paralympic village, other athletes keep asking about the book and its themes: “Everyone here knows our book,” says Serfaty. Part of the book was also created from such conversations, for example at competitions, she tells the Paralympics newspaper in an interview. They have already met many athletes through her Instagram channel. At the Beijing games, they were finally able to talk to them personally: “We met athletes who are now friends as well.”